Never Again is Now: A Retrospective
**Content Warning: I know I have a biased opinion due to my background, I just needed to get these thoughts off my chest.
In everything that I write, I always try and find the right words to say. In this particular case, my tongue is metaphorically tied and I cannot come up with any amount of words that can illustrate all of the emotions these past couple of weeks have caused for me. After taking some time to digest what has been going on in the world, I have to at least try and speak not only for myself, but as one of the many voices in my community, both local and at large. Additionally, as a writer, I always try to see both sides of the story and emphasize. However, that cannot be the case with this particular situation.
I am not the first, and I will not be the last, to state the obvious – there is an ongoing problem. One of the most concerning things in today’s society is the sheer amount of hatred and bigotry that still exists. Even in the most prolifically self-defined “Land of the Free”, with the many races and creeds of people that live here, the majority of those minorities do not feel safe. This has been an ongoing problem for centuries – it certainly is not a new phenomenon. If it is, I would highly suggest you take some time to read a history book or educate yourself on the history laid out by our ancestors. The difference between history and today is that more eyes are on it thanks to the power (or in some cases hindrances) of social media. The new age of technology and social media has most certainly escalated the problem, as it now introduces not only anonymity but also runs the risk of taking things entirely out of context. Context is crucial, especially when talking about racism, bigotry, and in the specific case for today’s focus, antisemitism. Within the last few years, I have noted the steady increase of antisemitism not only within the United States but around the world. In fact, a statistic done by the ADL (the Anti-Defamation League) published in March 2023 for antiemetic events within the United States, 2022 tabulated 3,697 events, which is a 36% uptick from the previous year. They also noted that this was the highest number on record since they began recording these events in 1979. Unfortunately, this number will only increase as the ongoing Israeli/Hamas conflict continues.
In the early hours of Saturday, October 7, Hamas stationed in Gaza launched a surprise attack on Israel, shooting rockets through the skies and storming the borders with trucks, armed men, and a determined drive for destruction. Since then, there have been numerous incidents where thousands of lives have been lost. One of the most recent occurrences in this war took place on October 17th - the bombing of the Al-Ahli Baptist Hospital in Gaza, now being classified as a massacre, as it took the lives of hundreds of Palestinians. I want you to take a wild guess as to who the fingers of blame were first pointed at.
I knew that Judaism would always be tried, and tested, but in my life, I never imagined it would be in this capacity. It’s a part of my life, it has been my saving grace in the past. From a young age, I knew my religion was different from everyone around me. I attended Catholic school from fifth grade to eighth grade, and the kids didn’t treat me any differently, unlike my previous school. I felt different though, and for those reasons I admired it. However, it slowly crept up and took its toll on me later in life. Within my bubble, I felt an underlying whisper to converge, to keep my differences to myself. I want to be clear, no one else in my life said anything to this effect – it was self-inflicted thoughts. These thoughts only grew louder as the violence and antisemitism grew. Even when I was out in Los Angeles, I honestly never felt comfortable going to services, partially because of the constant fear of going through an event like the Pittsburgh temple shooting a few years ago.
I have had several small significant cases of antisemitism pop up in my own life, but this is not the time and place to air that laundry. Looking back on those events now, it helped me grow into the Jewish young woman I am today. Now, as a full-fledged adult, and having matured experiences, I look back on those cases of antisemitism, my trip to Israel in high school, and my identity as a Jewish woman and react to different ways. One with pride, and one with utter fear. These opposite-polar reactions are the norm in today’s society.
As raised to be a Jewish woman, one of the things I learned growing up was the deep-seated connection between myself and the Jewish people as a whole. During my bat mitzvah’s parashah way back in 2007, I learned three important lessons that still hold true these many years later. My Torah portion at the time, for context, was Emor from the book of Leviticus:
1) Judaism teaches us that every one of us is sacred, no matter what his or her status in life may be.
2) Love Thy Neighbor as thy self – the self-proclaimed “Golden Rule” of societies.
3) Sacrifices mean giving up something to receive something. Sacrifices are sacred and should not be forgotten.
I know that you are probably thinking “Nicole, why are you spewing knowledge from your childhood for these very real, critical events?” I am not here to educate/give lessons – I am offering comfort and some sort of inspiration to keep us moving forward.
There are two very clear, distinct sides: Pro-Israel and Pro-Hamas. If you believe otherwise, then I kindly ask that you please keep those opinions to yourself.
In the days following the Israeli/Gaza attacks, people’s true colors are put on full display. The President spoke up. Multiple Jewish-based universities, as well as local and national Jewish-centric organizations, spoke up. Schools and places of work spoke up. Social media exploded with videos, retweets, reels, posts. The words of support flooded in and my heart wept with happiness. However, at the same time, the opposite occurred. Hate, death threats, slurs, blame, support for Hamas’ cause, true intentions. My swollen heart now aches with despair and utter shock. We stand on the precipice of where our ancestors stood before.
Have we not learned from history? Are we, in fact, doomed to repeat it, here and now? Is ‘Never Again’ now?
With all this talk of philosophies and rants aside, I grieve for the thousands of my Israeli brothers and sisters who were taken by the careless carnage caused by Hamas. I have a direct connection to the Holy Land – friends on the front lines serving within the IDF, and friends who live in Israel fearing for their lives daily. Constantly looking to the skies and behind their backs, awaiting their next attack. I have stepped foot on Israel’s shores, having gone back in 2010, when the violence was only a rumble. I distinctly remember before our trip that a message was sent to us and our parents, keeping us alert of the very real threat that brews within the Holy Land. We were protected by an armed man throughout our stay, which made me at peace. Not many people are not so lucky as to have a literal guardian angel amongst them. Israel is beautiful – the land, the culture, the food, the people – I wish everyone could see its true beauty and grandeur rather than the perceived notion/idea of what it is.
The most disturbing thing about this entire conflict has been the consequences laced in people’s choices. Many of us have chosen the side of Israel/innocent Palestinians and innocent Gazaians. A life is a life, no matter who it is. A choice is a choice, and in the end, the person who makes that choice is the one who lives with their decision. In this day and age, where social media and technology are driving factors in our everyday decision-making, it’s hard to imagine that, at the heart of this conflict are the Israelis versus the Hamas terrorists, people still dare to make the wrong choice. We’ve seen the news reports. We have seen the shared posts on social media. We have seen videos, photos, and stories of thousands of innocent lives being taken, yet people continue to choose the wrong side. I am not attacking people as they can make their own decisions, but still - It’s not fair. The way that people, yes, have the right to make their own decisions, it’s an unfortunate occurrence that people have chosen to side the world-labeled “monsters” that keep us awake at night. It’s an easy choice to make, so why, even in today’s world with everything that we know, do you still choose to support those who hide behind its residents, who cower in corners of the hospitals and civilians' homes, who slither and constrict innocents like snakes and who pillage innocent lands, by sky, air, and sea. All of this, to annihilate a peaceful people, whose only pure and good intention, is to have a home to have a sense of belonging and a sense of purpose.
It’s not fair.
I know that this isn’t easy. I have had weeks to reflect. All of my previous experiences, my connections to my heritage, my friends on the front lines of this horrible war, have made me so on edge, that I only yearn for them to be safe. In my youth, I only scratched the surface of what Israel has gone through in her lifetime. I was so young, not understanding the complexities or the complicated history of the country and its people. Now, as a full-fledged adult, the complexities of the actions of political leaders, civilians, soldiers, and witnesses, all of these actions and choices, have both written and unwritten consequences which we now live through.
I am proud to be a Jew. I do not apologize for being one-sided. I will not apologize for speaking or in this case writing my true feelings. Now, more than ever, we must endure, we must carry on. We must survive – we are in this for the long haul.
Am Yisrael Chai
